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Congratulations! You've been accepted to the Deathmonkey Academy of Evil! As you are aware, the start of classes is just around the corner and it is time for you to think about your all-important first evil deed. Evil is not something that can be mastered overnight. A chef does not start out with a rack of lamb, and an artist does not start out painting like Vermeer.
It is crucial that you put a lot of thought into your first evil deed as it will shape the path of evil for the rest of your career. For instance, an evil apprentice at our Academy, a young go-getter named Scott Thompson, made his first evil deed a simple prop that made someone chuckle. That young boy is now Carrot Top, voted five-time winner of the coveted Most Evil Person on the Planet award by the Institute of the Evil Arts.
Another young evil hopeful chose to be able to make his nose change shape at will... This was a poor choice, as it wasn't a particularly evil thing, and he got caught up in his music instead of mastering his evil art. That boy was pop-sensation and loving father Michael Jackson, who is now clearly less evil than he is... weird. It's pathetic, really, the way he's trying to make his children evil, the way he could never be.
The point of all this, of course, is to tell you to CHOOSE WISELY your first evil deed. I myself started with the simple task of being able to get Joan Jett songs stuck in people's head (and he was with me... YEAH ME! Next we're moving on...). Our Provost of Evil,
Professor BurnMeUp started with the simple evil deed of making milk expire a day earlier than the posted expiration date. It won't be long before you're hatching global destruction plans in your underground lair and having zombie woodchucks do your bidding.
Look forward to seeing you in class!
Baron Heinrich von Deathmonkey, Master of Evil
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[Poll #80960]
It is crucial that you put a lot of thought into your first evil deed as it will shape the path of evil for the rest of your career. For instance, an evil apprentice at our Academy, a young go-getter named Scott Thompson, made his first evil deed a simple prop that made someone chuckle. That young boy is now Carrot Top, voted five-time winner of the coveted Most Evil Person on the Planet award by the Institute of the Evil Arts.
Another young evil hopeful chose to be able to make his nose change shape at will... This was a poor choice, as it wasn't a particularly evil thing, and he got caught up in his music instead of mastering his evil art. That boy was pop-sensation and loving father Michael Jackson, who is now clearly less evil than he is... weird. It's pathetic, really, the way he's trying to make his children evil, the way he could never be.
The point of all this, of course, is to tell you to CHOOSE WISELY your first evil deed. I myself started with the simple task of being able to get Joan Jett songs stuck in people's head (and he was with me... YEAH ME! Next we're moving on...). Our Provost of Evil,
Professor BurnMeUp started with the simple evil deed of making milk expire a day earlier than the posted expiration date. It won't be long before you're hatching global destruction plans in your underground lair and having zombie woodchucks do your bidding.Look forward to seeing you in class!
Baron Heinrich von Deathmonkey, Master of Evil
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[Poll #80960]
