It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.

Random Shit. It's always random shit.

• I was going to make a great dinner for Tonya tonight, but she decided to go hang out with one of her bad-influence poopy-head friends instead. I shake a fist at her. I shall instead have Stoeffer's frozen lasagna instead, which is also quite tasty.


• On top of my monitor, I have a Stanley Cup, a sea shell (one of those twirly spirally ones), and a little stuffed turtle that I got at the aquarium with tiggeril.


• I hurt. I played volleyball last night. My shoulder already hurt, and now it hurts worse. I also hurt my toes, twisted my ankle, scuffed up my knee, and oonfed up my lower back. Sleeping didn't make it better, but moving around some today helped a little.


• I ripped of a good amount of skin doing manual labor at work today. I scraped my arm against a screw on an MS connector on a Minertia motor that wa sitting there as I was hammering on this big metal plate. It bled a little. I disinfected it and band-aided it to make it all better. Then Tonya kissed it and now it's got cooties. Girl Cooties, the deadliest kind! I should have sprayed it with my invisible can of anti-cootie spray, but I couldn't find it since it's invisible and all. If I die, I want my tombstone to say that it was Tonya's cooties that got me, as a warning to all others.


• I still say a Twix bar embedded in a Snickers bar would be a great treat. I need to try to make one. Are Snickers and Twix made by the same company? I don't trust the Snickers people to get the cookie right, and I don't trust the Twix people to get the nougat and peanuts right.


• I strongly prefer milk chocolate to dark/semi-sweet chocolate. Tonya's the opposite, though really she doesn't care as long as there is chocolate.


• If I had my own cable channel, it would show re-runs of The State and Mr. Show and The Tenacious D Show and The Vacant Lot and Exit 57 and Kids in the Hall and maybe Monty Python's Flying Circus. So I guess I want to start the Not-SNL Sketch Comedy Channel, or NSSCC. What sketch comedy shows am I missing? Not SCTV, either.


• This just in: Tonya is not The Pillsbury Doughboy. I poked her in the belly and she didn't giggle.


• Zrrbrrting bellies often results in giggles. Rowr.


• Not to get all Milton Waddums here, but my Swingline stapler really is head-and-shoulders above some of these generic piece-of-crap staplers around here, and if someone steals it I may very well burn the building down.


• A riddle I just made up: Q. What do you call a monkey with a cape? A. Super-Monkey. FUCK YOU! IF YOU THINK IT'S SO EASY TO BE FUNNY WHY DON'T YOU WRITE A GOTDAMN JOKE FOR ONCE! ALWAYS NAYSAYING! COCK-AYASS! That's it, you're fired.


• I saw a good looking girl walking a beautiful red bulldog (with a black face) a couple of days ago near my apartment complex, but I didn't jump her. I think I showed remarkable restraint. Plus, I was driving.

[Poll #46049]

How my sleep study went, because stacis asked.

Sleep studies suck. They put electrodes on my head with these big globs of adhesive that feel like toothpaste, then taped about 400 things to my face. They also put this thing on my finger that measures blood oxygen by shining a light through your finger.

So, then the guy tells me to sleep on my back. I'm a stomach/side sleeper, and I think it would have been more effective to sleep while standing on one leg. I barely fall asleep once, then wake back up. Now, I WANTED to sleep. I wanted to snore so loudly that ramavina would call me up and complain and staci would drive to the hospital to elbow me (just kidding, dears). After my breif lapse into a sleep-like state, I just kept thinking "go to sleep, i have to go to sleep. I'll count sheep, I'll think of boring things." Of course, the harder you TRY to go to sleep, the harder it is to actually go to sleep. So I didn't sleep well. Finally I said "fuck it" and rolled over onto my side. Slept much better. I don't know how well I snored of if I stopped breathing. They'd damn well better not call me back and tell me that I'm fine. I'm not. I SWEAR.

Then the guy woke me up at 5 am and ripped all the stuff off my face and pulled out the electrodes, leaving me with a bunch of toothpastey globs in my hair. I drove home and washed 'em out then went to work very tiredly.

Katie! Pat! Steph! Other Spider-Man Fans!

Someone totally needs to steal this user pic that I stole from banana, whom I do not know.

The Plan

Tonight i shall eat frozen lasagna (it's frozen now, but I'll cut it before I eat it, so I guess I'll actually eat not-frozen lasagna), update my amazon.com wishlist, and watch a dvd. Perhaps The Royal Tenenbaums, perhaps Shine, perhaps both. Then I will dick around for a while and go to bed way too late and regret it tomorrow morning when I'm really really tired.

But at least I have a plan.

Update: I really enjoy it when I get a lot of comments in my journal between the time I leave work (in about two minutes) and the time I get home. So start commenting. It doesn't have to be interesting; it doesn't even have to be nice.