It's not stealing because I'm the only one to properly use the OL (ordered list) tag.

1. What's one thing you wish you could do but can't? - Spell "believe" correctly on the first try.
   
2. What is your ideal marriage location? - Justice of the Peace, quickly. The only reason I'd want a wedding is for the gifts.
   
3. Which musical instrument do you wish you could play? - Accordion and Triangle. Preferably at the same time.
   
4. Do you tell your friends about your sex life? - I tell my imaginary friends about my imaginary sex life. I mean, really, who wants to hear stories of me masturbating to Butt-Time Stories? - The amount of porn I own is really quite pathetic.
   
5. What's the one language you want to learn? - Tounges. I've always wanted to speak in tounges.
   
6. What do you order at a bar? - Tequila straight-up, no lime.
   
7. Have you ever pierced your body parts? - Just my gall bladder.
   
8. Do you drive stick? - Yep, but I'd like to not drive a stick.
   
9. What's one trait you hate in a person? - Assholishness, which is why I don't like me so much.
   
10. What kind of watch(es) do you wear? - None.
    
11. Do you consider yourself materialistic? - No, I just like stuff.
    
12. What's one car you will never buy? - A sports car, i.e. Corvette, Viper, any of the European sports cars like Ferrari, Lamborghini, etc. If you were 6'2" and three and a half bills, you'd understand.
    
13. What kind of books do you like to read? - Ones that have no plot to follow. I have a short attention span. Give me something with short stories that don't require me to remember the previous short story. David Sedaris is my favorite as of late, otherwise just give me a magazine. Preferably Butt-Time Stories.
    
14. Burial or cremation? - I would like my organs given to whoever wants them and then my carcas eaten by scavenging birds. Then I want the birds cremated.
    
15. How many online journals do you read regularly? - The short attention span problem hurts those of you who post inexaustibly long fucking entries. About 5 or 6 that I read very thouroughly, and a good 20 more that I read if the entry looks inviting.
    
16. What's one thing you're a sore loser at? - The Lottery.
    
17. If you don't like a person, how do you show it? - I tell him that he is unwelcome in the chat room, just as he was unwelcome on SDMB, and that no one wants to hear about his big dick or sexual conquests any more. Then I make some sly comment that tells him he was BANNED for a reason, then I sigh to myself in disbelief that ANYONE could like this jerkwad and then I seethe and then I get over it. I hate that motherfucker. Oh how I hate him.
    
18. How many drinks before you're tipsy? - 6 or 7.
    
19. Do you cry in front of friends? - Only if I'm cutting onions.
    
20. What kind of first impression do you think you give to people? - I tend to open with my impression of Dana Carvey doing Ross Perot, and if that doesn't work, I leave them with an impression of my teeth.
    
21. What's one thing you like to do alone? - Masturbate while reading Butt-Time Stories.
    
22. When's the right time to go to the bathroom in front of your significant other? - When the appropriate fee has been negotiated with the hooker.
    
23. Favorite communication method? - Morse Code.

Another survey for the #straightdope gang.

1. Who is your favorite person in chat? - WickyBlu and Frannie, if for no other reasons than the accents. Although I do have other reasons.
   
2. Which LJ entry do you always look forward to reading? - Pricciar, when it's not longer than my life story, and sapphy's and fran's and wicky's and katie's and mamahen's and Nymmy's and rasa's and MrC's and demo's and saxface's and jarbaby's and jadis'.... All the girls (MrC and demo are like girls to me). I love snugglebug's, too. I'm glad I randomly stumbled on to her.
   
3. If you could blink your eyes and make one chatter/poster disappear who would it be? - The big dick with the big dick.
   
4. Which celebrity do you have the most fantasies about? - (one of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong): Brittney Murphy, Jennifer Connelley when Nymmy isn't around, Catherine McCormack, Lisa Loeb, Chloe Sevigny, Meatloaf, Julienne Moore, Sarah Polley, Gina Gershon, Neve Campbell, Rene Zellwiger at her "Bridget Jones" weight, Franka Potente, and Diana Krall.
   
5. What's the wildest sexual experience you have ever had? Two women at once. Not worth the $600 I paid for the experience, though.
   
6. Which chatter/poster has found their way into your erotic dreams? - If by dream you mean dreams during REM sleep, then I don't remember them. If you mean dreams as in fantasies, then it's jarbaby and nymysys. And Frannie and Wicky. Used to be sapphy, but she said we didn't have chemistry. (bah dum bum)
   
7. Do the people in your Real Life understand about your internet activities? - Not really, so I don't bring it up.
   
8. What do you think of internet relationships? - They're great and they suck.
   
9. Do you believe in love online? - Yeah.
   
10. Is Blue Bunny ice cream actually made from blue bunnies? No, it's made from Blue Bunny JUICE.

Just so we're clear.

There is one thing that I would like to make perfectly clear:

I would love to have repeated and kinky sex with calliecat.
This sex would include, but not be limited too:

1. Sweet Talking
   
2. Wooing
   
3. Brumskys
   
4. Cunnilingus
   
5. Analingus, if desired
   
6. Missionary Position
   
7. Premature Ejaculation
   
8. Awkward Apologies
   
9. "Just give me a few minutes"
   
10. "Okay, I'm ready. Hop On."
    
11. Woman-On-Top Position
    
12. Doggy Style (with ass spanking)
    
13. One of those kind-of-sideways position
    
14. The positions that put footprints on the ceiling
    
15. Light Bondage
    
16. Cuddling
    
17. Snoring

Callie rocks my world.